My Va-Jay-Jay And I
For sometime you’ve been courting this dude, he seemed like a really nice guy, I mean NICE with everything in-between, and all these while, the closest intimacy you’ve had is brushing of the lips, never getting past fondling with boobs. But this day, you want more, every sensitive part of you is craving something more. So you set the scene, invite your bae over, and the action begins. Soon, it’s time for penetration, but your body seemed to be resisting. The gate is totally shut as it has always been with the others and you know the hymen has long been broken so it’s not as if you’re still intact.
After a long struggle, bae is able to push in but not without a heart wrenching scream tearing out of your mouth. The pain is excruciating, with every thrust comes a scream. Soon, it is all over, he is not sated, you are in pain.. and you are thinking ‘what kind of torture is this, is sexual intercourse not supposed to be enjoyable?’ ANSWER- it is, but not when there’s an enemy called Vaginismus.
So we discussed penis captivus the other day and it is believed that penis captivus is not unconnected to vaginismus which as defined by American sexual health expert, Dr. Laura Berman, is the “involuntary spasms of vaginal muscles that make intercourse painful, or even impossible.”
A friend once told me his humiliating experience with some girl, how he almost got stuck in her and how after a relentless struggle to extricate himself from her, his penis felt like it would break in two. Hearing his horrible escapade may have sounded hilarious, but to him who was at the receiving end, it was a day never to be forgotten because afterwards, he fled from the said girl and never looked back.
At the time, neither him nor the girl had any knowledge of vaginismus, hence, If it had happened that they were stuck, they and everyone that came to sneer and jeer would have thought that the hand of ekwensu was involved..
A lot of women struggle with this condition and do not know it, and others yet live with it for the rest of their lives. Vaginismus can make you feel inadequate, hence sending your man right into the arms of another. It brings pain in place of pleasure, psychologically programme your mind in a fearful state at the thought of sexual intercourse and deny you the joy of experiencing orgasm.
Ipso-facto, if you are a woman and experience the following, then, I’m afraid you are suffering from vaginismus:
-being afraid of sexual intercourse with a partner and not being able to try to have intercourse (inability to penetrate)
– having partial sexual intercourse (only a part of the penis can enter the vagina)
– not being able to insert pads or tampons into the vagina
– not being able to insert a finger into the vagina
– not being able to enter vaginal ultrasound instrument
– wincing and fearing gynecological examinations and not being able to take the gynecologist’s examination seat.
The cure for this condition is not known yet, there are however little exercises that might help, they are:
-kegel exercise (conscious clenching and releasing of the perineum and pelvic muscles)
-finger fucking or using dildos to help oneself
-applying vaginal lubricants like K-Y jelly, Astroglide gel etc, to help penetration
-relaxing the mind and trying not to think of pain even before penetration is made.
…. Be informed; that you have vaginismus should not make you an ignoramus ….